August 19

Alright people of the Internet today is the day!

Its only noon and I feel like I am on top of the world. I love good days. Most of you know how precious good days can be when life seems to be dark for a while. Today is the day! I enrolled in my fall semester classes, looked up my book list and paid tuition today. For me this is a huge step. If you had asked me even yesterday, what my fall plans were I would deflect the question. I was on the verge of dropping out and being kicked out of my university.But today is the day! I have kicked todays butt and its only noon. I am continuing with my college degree. I am starting my fourth year of college with hopefully only 2 more years to go. I realized though that no matter how long I take I will reach my goal of being a teacher. It might take me a little longer than most people and I might have a lot of struggles along the way but I will get there. I am crushing today.

So update on the rest of my life, Im sorry that i have been so flaky on here. Its hard to find the motivation to post on here when I don’t even feel like getting out of bed. I think I am going to find another job. I have only ever had lifeguarding jobs and I think its time to expand my horizons. I turn 21 here in a few months and would love to become a server or a bar back with hopes of eventually becoming a bartender. I think it would really help with my socialization that I struggle with due to anxiety. Plus you get to make tips from drunk people all night, who doesn’t love that? I am taking 5 classes this fall and will only be working as a lifeguard on the weekends so I think I can find the time to pick up another job. I find its best to keep busy int eh winter months or I will start to slip in to a deep depression again.

Time for the update on boys! I went on a date with Z again, the one from the wedding and picnic dates! It started off really well….we went and explored an old ghost town, got lunch, went for a walk by the river, got tea and finished it off with dinner at sunset out by a small lake where we were the only people. We went bak to his house after wards and I started to not feel well, so upon standing up to get dressed I proceeded to throw up red smoothie all over his white carpet. It looked like a crime scene. He handled it like a champ, cleaned it up super fast, and then took me home. He even called me, not texted called, me the next morning to make sure I was feeling better. He offered to bring me a the new Harry Potter book and a coffee. He seems like a keeper so far!

My best friend has been out of town for the week and out of cell phone service too so I have been a bit lonely but I think she will appreciate the daily phone calls of me just talking about random topics. She gets back on Sunday though so I think I will see her then and gossip for hours.

Well thats about it for the updates of whats going on in my life right now. Remember today is the day!

-confidenceiskey2016

August 4

Hey there random people!

So today is Thursday August 4th and to be honest I was a bit sleepy all day. I guess however that was due to the amazing date last night! We had a picnic dinner, he kicked my butt at card games but we went back to his place to attempt to watch a movie. I think we made it exactly 30minutes in to starting the movie before moving to the bedroom, no its not what you think, we just fell asleep. So I leave this morning and come to found out today that this guy I went on a 4th date with also went on a hiking date with a girl that I lived with my freshman year of college. That was awkward. To keep my mind busy I worked all day. I swam for a while so I figured I could skip the usual workout. I just wasn’t feeling it. Now I am sitting here on the couch in my fuzzy slippers with my cat laying next to me. I am generally asleep by now but my brother in law is coming into town tonight with 2 friends for a big car show. Emotionally today was a good day even if it was stressful at times. I am not really sure what else to write today, my mind is a little fuzzy. So I guess that is it for the night then.

-ConfidenceIsKey

August 3

Alright so today makes the third day in August. I know i missed yesterdays post so I am going to start with a recap of August 2. Yesterday I worked for most of the day and then completed my whole work out plan with my roommate. She and I are getting along well at this point but our other roommate is annoying me. She is a slob, like smelly room, dirty cat box, black sink disgusting. But back to my day…I went out to my best friend J’s house we hung out there and watched the dogs for a while so that was nice. It was just an off day though so I wasn’t really feeling connected to anyone.

Okay now on to August 3rd. Today so far has been going really well other than the beginning. I woke up to a dirty oven. This may not seem like a terrible thing but the roommate i mentioned before was supposed to clean it the night before, it obviously had not been touched. So at 5am before work I cleaned the oven. She then had the audacity to complain about the noise and say that she had already cleaned it. But whatever I hope she moves out soon anyways. So then I went to work. I got paid today, payed all of my monthly bills and still had some fun money left over. I am meeting up with an old friend from high school in a few minutes. She and I catch up every few months. Its one of those friendships that no matter how long its been you just pick up right where you left off and are still thick as thieves. I also have a date tonight. Its the fourth one with the same guy so I am nervous. We are going on a picnic dinner tonight at the park, I told him it was my favorite dinner place on the first date….he remembered. So overall a good day!

-ConfidenceIsKey2016